


Damn Daniel back at it again with the gay chatfic!

by Lesboplasm



Series: It's all queer to me [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Chatting & Messaging, Comedy, F/F, Gay, Gay Character, Group chat, LGBT, LGBT+, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian, Lesbian Character, M/M, Non-binary character, People said they wanted more so, Slice of Life, Trans Character, all the relationships are like minor stuff so, and here we see again that I love making Ibuki a Gay Pining Single™, chatfic, idek what im doing with these things, just another one of these things, like its not mentioned in this fic but Sagishi is genderfluid and Aoi is trans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 09:46:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15070487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lesboplasm/pseuds/Lesboplasm
Summary: Relationships? Gays? Byakuya bitching? Just another normal day in the Hope's Peak Gays Only™ group chat.





	Damn Daniel back at it again with the gay chatfic!

Togami- Material Girl  
Celestia- Twilight was a good book  
Ishimaru- unaccepTABLEEEEEE  
Asahina- Free!!!!!!!!!!  
Ultimate Imposter/Sagishi- Who is she?  
Nagito- Explodey boy  
Hiyoko- Satan is blonde  
Ibuki- Punk died and came back as a scene kid  
Mahiru- S E N D N U D E S  
Kokichi- Dicktater  
Rantaro- Fucking stoner  
Tenko- Leasbe ai ne  
Himiko- Hermioniko

\---

** What, are you fucking gay? **

{Fucking stoner}: Ok so

{Fucking stoner}: Having parental issues is gay culture- yay or nay? 

{Who is she?}: Yay

{Dicktator}: That's a big fucking yay 

{Material girl}: Yay.

{S E N D N U D E S}: Nay???? My parents + step parents are great?

{Twilight was a good book}: Yay.

{Leasbe ai ne}: Nay! I love my parents! 

{Hermioniko}: Nay

{Nagito}: Well, they're dead so... Yay

{Free!!!!!!!!!!}: Nay!

{Satan is blonde}: Yay

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: Nay!

{unaccepTABLEEEEEE}: Do grandparental issues count?

{Fucking stoner}: That's like half a yay

{Fucking stoner}: And I'm a nay so that makes 6 and a half yays and 6 nays so I guess we have to conclude that it kind of is gay culture? 

{Twilight was a good book}: I find that unsurprising

{unaccepTABLEEEEEE}: I find it worrying! 

{S E N D N U D E S}: I think maybe it's more of a hopes peak thing than a gay thing? 

{Fucking stoner}: O shit u rite

{Hermioniko}: That makes a lot of sense,,, 

{Explodey boy}: Hope's Peak Academy culture is having a found family in your classmates that you love as much as if not more than your biological family 

{S E N D N U D E S}: Awwwww, Nagito! 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: Yeah!~ Class 77-B stick together! 

{Who is she?}: Of course.

{Satan is blonde}: Even though you're all ants, I think of you guys as my family... 

{Explodey boy}: :D 

{Material girl}: You guys all act like you hate Nagito though?

{Satan is blonde}: That's my way of showing affection? 

{Satan is blonde}: Like Mikan is one of my best friends, so I call her a pig to show her I love her! 

{Dicktator}: That's a lie you obviously just like teasing her

{Satan is blonde}: How about shut up you purple rat twink

{Dicktator}: Awww you love me Hiyoko!!! 

{Dicktator}: Cause you said insulting was how you showed affection~

{Satan is blonde}: Not with you! 

{S E N D N U D E S}: To be honest though, you have stopped insulting her as much as you did 

{S E N D N U D E S}: She's... Very grateful 

{Explodey boy}: Ah, I love all my classmates! 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: <3

{Who is she?}: I see you typing, Nagito, please just leave this as a nice sentiment and don't say anything about hope or talent or you being trash.

{Explodey boy}: ...

{Explodey boy}: :) 

{Dicktator}: Yo _@Fucking stoner @Hermioniko @Leasbe ai ne_ where's my class-family love???!!!

{Hermioniko}: Too much,,,, efforft,,, 

{Fucking stoner}: I have problems expressing my emotions so...

{Leasbe ai ne}: I would sell your soul to Satan for one corn chip.

{Dicktator}: Love,,, you guys,,, too,,, 

{Fucking stoner}: Sorry babes

{Free!!!!!!!!!!}: Are we doing this? 

{Material Girl}: I would consider Celestia and Kiyotaka my friends, the rest of you I tolerate.

{Twilight was a good book}: I enjoy the company of most of the class, but saying we are family is going a bit far, don't you think? 

{unaccepTABLEEEEEE}: Yes! You are my friends, however not my family! 

{Free!!!!!!!!!!}: I'd say that's a solid bonding session-y thing! 

{Material girl}: Speaking of family, I despise my father.

{Twilight was a good book}: As we have established. 

{Material girl}: He's an asshole.

{Material girl}: The other day I called him and he said he had found a good date for me for some gala thing that was coming up. Apparently *she* is very wealthy and reputable. 

{Fucking stoner}: Oof

{S E N D N U D E S}: Awkward...

{Twilight was a good book}: Oo, tell her to hit me up~

{Dicktator}: My my Celeste that's quite gay 

{Twilight was a good book}: ;) 

{Material girl}: Yeah, so for about the hundredth time I tell him "Father, I'm gay." And he says "You could be fucking vegan for all I care, but you have to carry on the Togami bloodline somehow." 

{Free!!!!!!!!!!}: What a dick! 

{Hermioniko}: Because it's not like,,,, men can give birth or anything,,,, cause apparently,,, trans men don't exist??? 

{Satan is blonde}: Let's kill him :)

{Material girl}: It just makes me wonder how I am this intelligent with that kind of ignorance clogging up the bloodline.

{S E N D N U D E S}: Real humble 

{S E N D N U D E S}: But also slightly true

{unaccepTABLEEEEEE}: Byakuya, just keep hope that when you finally inherit the Togami corporation, you will be much better suited to carry on your family legacy than your father ever could! 

{Material girl}: I know that, I don't need encouragement from you.

{Explodey boy}: B-baka! 

{Fucking stoner}: Gottum

{Material girl}: I'm not a tsundere! 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: B-BAKA!!! I'M NOT TSUNDERE!!! 

{Material girl}: I sincerely hope you choke on your piercings.

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: That's a pretty metal way to go so I'm all for it

{Dicktator}: News just in- lonely spray paint drinking lesbian chokes to death on her own piercings!

{Fucking stoner}: You can choke on my piercing if you know what I mean ;) 

{Satan is blonde}: I'm sorry that's illegal 

{Twilight was a good book}: Stay the fuck away from my son you overcooked avacado 

{Dicktator}: H-hewwo? :3 Daddy owo

{Fucking stoner}: Nvm I'll just die instead

{Material girl}: Good choice.

\---

** What, are you fucking gay? **

{Free!!!!!!!!!!}: _@Hermioniko @Leasbe ai ne @S E N D N U D E S @Satan is blonde_

{Hermioniko}: Hey

{S E N D N U D E S}: Hi

{Leasbe ai ne}: Yes Aoi? 

{Satan is blonde}: What do you want fish tits? 

{Free!!!!!!!!!!}: Fish tits? 

{Satan is blonde}: You heard me 

{Hermioniko}: We're texting???

{Free!!!!!!!!!!}: Anyways 

{Free!!!!!!!!!!}: You guys want to go on a triple date with me and Sakura? 

{Leasbe ai ne}: I would love to! I can tell Himiko would too, right Himiko? 

{Hermioniko}: Eh,, Sounds good,,

{Leasbe ai ne}: Yay! <3 

{S E N D N U D E S}: Hiyoko? 

{Satan is blonde}: What would we be doing? 

{Free!!!!!!!!!!}: I was thinking we could go and do some ceramics stuff? Like making pots and vases and shit

{Satan is blonde}: Will it just be us there? 

{Free!!!!!!!!!}: As far as I'm aware of yeah

{Satan is blonde}: Ok yeah, can't be too bad if Mahiru is there

{S E N D N U D E S}: :) 

{S E N D N U D E S}: When will this be happening? 

{Free!!!!!!!!!!}: On Wednesday?

{S E N D N U D E S}: Sounds good! Thanks for inviting us! 

{Leasbe ai ne}: I'll be looking forward to it!

{Explodey boy}: Can me and Hajime come?

{Free!!!!!!!!!!}: Are you and Hajime a wlw couple? 

{Explodey boy}: .

{Explodey boy}: Yes 

{Free!!!!!!!!!!}: Oh sorry that was incorrect! Try again later :)))

_Dicktator has changed  Explodey boy to Explodey wlw couple_

{Explodey wlw couple}: Hey Kokichi do you take constructive criticism? 

{Dicktator}: Absolutely not every single thing I do is flawless

{Explodey wlw couple}: Completely understandable, have a nice day

{Explodey wlw couple}: _@Who is she?_ Would you and Ryota like to go on a double date to a ceramics work shop? 

{Who is she?}: There is absolutely no way I am allowing you to involve my boyfriend in one of your weird plots, Nagito.

{Explodey wlw couple}: Hmmm

\---

 _Luckster_Nagito to  Hajime_

{Luckster_Nagito}: Heyyyyyyyy Hajimeee 

{Hajimeme}: Oh no

{Hajimeme}: What is it? What did you do?

{Luckster_Nagito}: Why would you immediately assume I did something? 

{Hajimeme}: The last time you texted me 'hey Hajime' like that the school board was about to expel you

{Luckster_Nagito}: I'm still here aren't I?

{Hajimeme}: Yeah but you are also now on a government watch list

{Luckster_Nagito}: Eh it was bound to happen

{Hajimeme}: -_-

{Luckster_Nagito}: Can you convince a couple to go on a double date with us? 

{Hajimeme}: I mean yeah sure but why? 

{Luckster_Nagito}: Aoi is going on a wlw triple date with mahiyoko and tenmiko and refused to invite me

{Hajimeme}: Maybe because you're not wlw? 

{Luckster_Nagito}: That's what she said! 

{Hajimeme}: So what? You want to show her up by going on a different double date? Do you understand how petty that sounds? 

{Luckster_Nagito}: Maybe so

{Hajimeme}: Why does it even matter?! 

{Luckster_Nagito}: Because! 

{Hajimeme}: Ugh 

{Hajimeme}: Ok so I'm not going to instigate some kind of weird date war between you and Aoi but I will invite some people over to drink and play mario kart tomorow. Does this placate you? 

{Luckster_Nagito}: Hmmm... Will Chiaki be there? 

{Hajimeme}: Yes obviously

{Luckster_Nagito}: Then thank you <3 

{Hajimeme}: You're welcome

{Luckster_Nagito}: I'm coming over now btw 

{Hajimeme}: I've already got the dr hopper out

{Luckster_Nagito}: :) 

\---

** What, are you fucking gay? **

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

{Who is she?}: ...Are you okay? 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: NO!!!!! IM SO LONELY!!!! 

{S E N D N U D E S}: Just come over to my dorm Ibuki

{S E N D N U D E S}: Hey! We can have a girls night! I'll invite Hiyoko and Mikan too! 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: Thats not the kind of lonely Ibuki meant but she is also always up for girls night so that would be good thanks Mahiru

{S E N D N U D E S}: No problem :) 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: WHAT I MEANT WAS THAT I AM SOOOOOOOO SINGLE! 

{Who is she?}: Ah.

{Who is she?}: Ibuki, you should not let the fact that you are single have an affect on your happiness or mood. When all is said and done, a relationship is not something to complete yourself with, it is just another bond to have. It should be of the same importance as the strong friendships you have. 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: I do love my friends but THATS RICH COMING FROM YOU SAGISHI 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!! 

{Who is she?}: I know, he's small and cute and I care about him so much. 

{Fucking Stoner}: Hoooooooooooly shit thats gay

{Who is she?}: And? What of it? 

{Who is she?}: You only wish you could be this gay, pussy.

{Fucking Stoner}: I 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: Fucking. Decimated.

{Twilight was a good book}: What a power move. 

_Fucking Stoner has gone offline_

{S E N D N U D E S}: You killed him 

{Hermioniko}: rip avacado man you will be sorely missed

{Dicktator}: I can't believe someone outgayed him to his death 

{Leasbe ai ne}: Fucking finally

{Dicktator}: My favourite part of this is that we all just kind of skipped over Ibuki's problem to watch Rantaro die

{S E N D N U D E S}: Oh right, sorry

{Twilight was a good book}: Ibuki, as a more experienced gay, let me give you some advice. 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: I'm older than you and I came out before you

{Twilight was a good book}: Quiet now.

{Twilight was a good book}: You will just have to learn to live with being single.

{Twilight was a good book}: You could find a girl who is beautiful, and intelligent, and understands you in ways no one else has. And then think that this girl is the only one you ever want to be with. But then she will take your ice heart that she was starting to thaw out and smash it on the ground and date a man, so I would advice against it. 

{S E N D N U D E S}: A-ah

{Explodey wlw couple}: Who hurt you Celeste? 

{Twilight was a good book}: Nobody, this was simply a hypothetical. 

{Dicktator}: It's a lie! I'm breaking into your dorm so we can talk about this! 

{Twilight was a good book}: I would prefer you didn't but I assume you're already on your way. 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: Ok so does anybody have any other advice for Ibuki? 

{unaccepTABLEEEEEE}: Ibuki! You must take initiative! You must take that girl you like on a date! Confess your feelings! The only way forward is to take the steps yourself! 

{Leasbe ai ne}: I hate to agree with a degenerate, but he is right! That's how I got Himiko! I simply confessed my feelings to her! She agreed to go out with me after the 27th time.

{Hermioniko}: It was getting embarrassing,,,, 

{Leasbe ai ne}: Well it worked! 

{Hermioniko}: Yeah,,, I didn't realise until I went on the date that I liked Tenko in that way,,,, I actually didn't realise until I liked Tenko that I was a lesbian cause of,,, ya know,,, internalised lesbaphobia,,, but yeah 

{Leasbe ai ne}: <3 

{Hermioniko}: <3 

{Explodey wlw couple}: Alternatively keep insulting her and finding excuses to hang out with her that don't have to do with you wanting to be around with her 

{Explodey wlw couple}: Then when she asks what your problem is tell her you are in love with the hope that sleeps inside of her and hopefully she will just kiss you 

{unaccepTABLEEEEEE}: Do not do that! I do not have any idea how that worked for you! 

{Satan is blonde}: Hajime is weird and shares Nagito's talent fetish 

{Satan is blonde}: Anyway 

{Satan is blonde}: The way to get the girl is keep asking her to shower with you 

{S E N D N U D E S}: Please stop typing please don't talk about our sex life in front of our underclassmen please please don't

{Satan is blonde}: Hehehe 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: None of that was helpful! 

{Material girl}: Just fucking ask her out.

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: That's the problem! Ibuki has nobody *to* ask out! All the cute girls are either taken or straight!

{Explodey wlw couple}: That's rough buddy 

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: It's fine I'll just write a song about this horrible single life called 'forever alone in a well furnished dorm room' 

{Who is she?}: Catchy.

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: Thnx

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: Anyways Im at Mahiru's dorm now and she has chick flicks and sour patch kids so goooooooodniiigggghhhhht 

{Who is she?}: Bye Ibuki.

{Punk died and came back as a scene kid}: <3 

{unaccepTABLEEEEEE}: Yes, it is quite late, so I believe everybody should go to their respective sleeping quarters for the night.

{Dicktator}: Ok mum

{unaccepTABLEEEEEE}: I am not your mother! 

{Dicktator}: :3 

_11 have gone offline_

{unaccepTABLEEEEEE}: Good night my friends. 

_unaccepTABLEEEEEE has gone offline_

\---

** What are you, fucking gay? **

{Satan is blonde}: I just realised that Rantaro told us that that he has a dick piercing and none of us noticed

{Satan is blonde}: I'm fucking furious

**Author's Note:**

> Oh shit here come another really self indulgent fic by Yoyo in which nothing really ever happens or progresses. Do you guys even like these? Apparently so. 
> 
> I'll probably do a bisexual group chat next.


End file.
